wanna go halves on a baby?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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