Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize