My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
