I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
