um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
