It's just like the Real World with babies
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize