Already got asked if we're dating
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
