Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
