where does the pee come out of this thing
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
