she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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