dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
