Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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