ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
this will be a night to untag.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
