well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
