make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
