i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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