Swine flu is the new snow day.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
