I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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