dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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