Taylor Swift is so right about you.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
