Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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