I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
