GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize