what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
