You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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