Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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