My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
