Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
