Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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