Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you guys were way drunker than both of me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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