Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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