It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
