SEEEEXXX PLEASE
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
