you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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