Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
