I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
