He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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