Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
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after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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