my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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