How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
