I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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