I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
