I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
