Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
