If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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