My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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