Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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