I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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