My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
