when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
