normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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