If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
