We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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