I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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