You made me cry and you don't even care
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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