Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
