Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Randomize
