I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
