Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
