3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
