In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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