I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
