Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you will always have a special place in my vag
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
