ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
