i jhust puked up my retainher.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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