i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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