Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
