turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well I just put wine in my tea
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
