Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Enjoy the penises
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
