I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
