Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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